Erectile disfunction is often caused by something other than the doctors may diagnose. Today, we will cover the different reasons a man has problems with his erection and will also provide an exercise to improve the strength regardless of age.
This article also has multiple purposes. The first is to help men who are losing their sexual abilities to understand why and recover. The second is for women to understand their part in that decline, and the third is to explain why men cheat or leave their partners for younger or other women, and why that new adventure usually does not last, only to be an endless repetition.
There are FOUR reasons why a man’s sexual ability declines as he gets older, or rather to be more specific, as ‘life happens’, regardless of his age. This article is targeted to men in their mid 30’s and older, as younger than that, the body’s animal nature is strong and without thought.
Just to appease all the different sexual preferences, I use the reference of male and female but it is possible, although I have no experience with, same gender relationships, so please forgive me for discussing only one gender pair, no offence intended to anyone.
The penis is a reactionary organ, which means, it responds to external stimulus. The requirement of physical, mental and emotional stimulus to respond increases as we get to our 40’s and older, but that is why men in their 40’s may start to see a decline in their sexual abilities and even their interest and desire, and from my research, very few realise why, because it has become the norm to simply attribute it to getting older, so they do not look further.
To establish the statement that it is reactionary is based on multiple sources, not in order of credibility, but simply a list. The first example is the spiritual path, regardless of the tradition, hence covers multiple examples.
Buddha originally refused to have women allowed in the school. He also told the monks that when they went out in the street, to have their eyes cast on the ground in front of them and never look up. The reason being is that he knew that when a man sees a pretty woman, his body will react and his mind will drift to fantasy and desire.
The Jews and Muslims separate the men and women during pray. As an old, wise and amusing Sufi explained it to me: “You know, when we muslims pray, we are in lines, and as we bow down, our bum goes up in the air. When I pray, I am supposed to be thinking of God, but if a woman is in the line in front of me, I will not be thinking of God.”
There are so many examples that it would take pages to list them all. You can ask me to write more on that topic if you are interested, but I will keep focused on this topic at hand.
I personally noticed, when I started my travels in the East at the age of 28 and became a monk, at the time when many countries were not yet infected by western culture and clothing, meaning, the women dressed very conservatively and there were no advertisements and blatant selling of sex.
After about 6 months, I realised I did not have any sexual desire. I thought I achieved mastery over the drive through my spiritual practices. However when I returned to Montreal two years later, a very ‘expressive’ western city, within a day, I was back to a ‘normal’ thirty year old man.
I simply want to make the point that after decades of study and personal experience, I have come to the unshakable opinion that the sex drive after a certain age, changes from being purely for propagation needing the release, to a more emotional act. Without the emotion, the act simply is not as much fun or interesting and therefore, the body does not respond. Of course the level changes from person to person, age etc, but it is the same for almost everyone, eventually.
And now, the four reasons:
The Four Reasons Why A Man’s Sexual Ability Declines As He Gets Older
1. Old Age
The first is old age. However, there are men in their 70’s who still perform well sexually, without the need of pills. So old age is an obvious factor, but not necessarily the direct cause. Rather, it is a result of other reasons in many cases. Here, we will explore those other reasons.
The stimulus starts to change as we age from purely a sexy body, to requiring a mental and emotional stimulus, where it responds based on the mutual admiration of, and from, a woman, and not purely her sexy body.
That is why older men like younger women. In some cases, of course not all, because the young woman looks up to and adores the man for his wisdom and experience. Also, the man remembers what he loved about his partner when they were young, the enthusiasm for life that a young woman has. However, if the new young woman is there only for the money, then the man’s drive will soon fade. He may then lose interest in her and this shows that the intellectual and emotional stimulation is far more important.
If the woman is there for the money, and the man cannot perform well over time, the woman does not think that her love of the money instead of him is the reason for his decline, and eventual straying, she just thinks he is old. This is just a note for women to see what part they play towards a flaccid man.
2. Illness and Fitness
The second is illness and fitness. Possibly a virus or infection having a negative effect or, the man is simply out of shape and his muscles and cardio have deteriorated. Medication or regular exercise can resolve these problems.
Let me be specific about the exercises for this particular function. As the muscles in the stomach, abdomen and perineum, get tight with stress and the muscles get weaker through lack of exercising them over time, that restricts the blood flow which weakens the erection. I have not done a scientific study, but this could explain why a man cannot get an erection when going to bed, after all the stresses of the day, but in the middle of the night when asleep, or in the morning, when the body has relaxed, an erection happens on its own. The muscles relax in sleep, and the blood flows.
The Exercise
For #2 Illness and Fitness
By working on deep belly breathing, you can relax the tension and simultaneously strengthen the necessary muscles. When you inhale, relax the abdomen and mid section muscles, all the way around, even in your back, like you are wearing a tire on your waist.
When you inhale, try to relax the belly so it expands, making you look pregnant, then hold the air in your stomach and push the air from your stomach, as if it is a ball, down to the penis. Eventually, if you could swallow the breath, and make that ball in your throat, and push it all the way down, that would be even better. That is harder to do, so you need to start from the belly and slowly try to start higher as you get better at the exercise.
If you have relaxed the muscles enough, you can immediately feel the blood flow directly into the penis. That is how you know you are doing the exercise correctly. Women can do the same thing and feel it flow into their vagina.
The more you do this exercise, the easier it becomes, it is simply a matter of the more you do, the faster it improves. Do the exercise at least 15 minutes every day, or as long as you can. Do it as often as possible, even a couple of breaths, for example, when you are in the car, or walking, or any time, and you will soon find within a couple of weeks, a clear result.
3. Emotional Stress and Depression
The third is emotional, stress and depression. If a man is having tremendous business problems, financial stress, family stress, etc. that will definitely effect his sexual drive. Depression, if you feel hopeless, that your life is pointless, etc, will definitely kill it. This is very well known so no need to go further. I would NOT suggest antidepressants or any medication. Simply change your life. That has worked instant miracles for depression. If you can do it, change your life in every way possible, work, country, negative people draining you, etc.
4. Emotional Connection and Reaction to his Woman’s Behaviour
The fourth and most important, from extensive research, which appears to be the most common problem, is the woman. Ladies, please do not wish to kill me, I am just trying to help!!
I am not speaking of her body, at least not entirely. It does play a part, but more than the body, it is how the woman makes the man feel. Have you ever seen couples where the man may be reasonably good looking and the woman may be by social standards, far less than the ideal,… (Is that politically correct enough to say? People today are so delicate that one word can create so much trouble, and that is the point I am trying to make. Fear of being able to speak is killing the spirit of humanity, and, as I will explain, castrating men.)… yet the man is crazy about her? This is more evidence to justify the point I am making that it is who you are, and not just your body, that creates or destroys your sex life.
Does she criticise him, put him down, put a lot of pressure on him to be better in bed, to make more money etc. Does she make the man feel like a failure in any way. Or, does she adore the man, show constant affection and desire for him, support him in his difficulties of life, does she treat him like someone she admires, respects and looks up to. Does she look at him as if the sun shines out of his eyes and talk highly about him to her friends. You get the idea of the right and wrong things to do.
The point is, the penis is a reactionary organ and the stimulus are the emotions that a man feels, which are triggered by the sexual partner, good or bad emotions.
How the woman makes the man feel, is by far the greatest effect on a man’s sexual desires and performance as he gets older and his interests change from pure animal energy to a more mature man. OK, some men never mature emotionally, so let’s just leave it at physically mature.
Just a note for women, before you start putting a man down, even if you think what you are saying is neutral or encouraging, you have to consider how you make him feel and it may be you who is causing him to not ‘get it up’. It’s not your opinion of your words and actions, it is how he feels about it.
This again requires a longer article, but suffice it to say, you may mean it a certain way but he, or any other person, may take it a different way. That is just what humans do, they interpret and speak through their own opinion, regardless of the intention. This paragraph alone, if you could understand it’s depth and power, and make the change in yourself, will drastically change every relationship you have and your own mental and emotional life. If you, men and women equally, want to learn more about this topic and what you can do to change, please feel free to message me and we can go further.
This last and most important reason is the most probable cause for men who are under 60 or 50 years old, and I would say, if there is no physical issue as mentioned in the second reason, then this is 100% the cause of ED. It is not the man, but rather his emotional connection and reaction to the woman’s behaviour, which is all about her, emotionally and physically in how she keeps her fitness (and I think most women will agree that the emotional connection will outweigh the lack of physical hunkiness) in her desire for him and how she makes him feel.
Let’s take two animals and compare them to a man. The horse and the bull.
A horse must turn left, right, stop or go on command, so of course it loses the spirit of the wild mustang it was born to be. The specific term to train a wild mustang is to “break” it.
The bull, ie, the male, vs the cow, the female. The best steak is only from the bull, but to have a tender, better quality of meat with less muscle and easier to control the herd, the bulls are castrated, which removes their fierce fighting nature, which makes them placid and therefore easier to control and not fight with each other, and develop a more tender meat.
The human male, castrated and controlled, told what to do, when and where, in his job, working in a company, given rules and restrictions, what he cannot say to a woman, political correctness, boundaries, obligations imposed by having a family and children, and sometimes his partner criticising him, demanding more, telling him what he should or should not do to please her.
Obviously not all women are like this, but many are without knowing it. By the way, men who cheat on their partner also establishes what I am saying, as his partner no longer gives him the feeling of being a great man, but the new woman does, hence no sex at home, but sex outside.
It is very clear that our society destroys the spirit of a man over time, although not physically castrated, men have become mentally and emotionally castrated, and therefore weaker, and like the bull, their fighting nature, the horse stud, strength in his sexual abilities, his whole personality and character, fades away far earlier in a man’s life than nature would have it. If he could live with the freedom and encouragement that the human being was born to have, a man would be a lot stronger for a lot longer, and women would be a lot happier and more satisfied.
This is why part of my school includes how to have a good relationship and how to bring back that fire through a combination of personal growth, physical exercise and financial freedom. We need all three to bring back that spark. But that will take a lot more time to teach. On that topic, I will go anywhere in the world and teach anyone who invites me. Teaching is not a business for me, all I ask is to cover the expenses of travel and accommodation.
I would like to invite you, men and women, to post your comments or ask any questions to tell us of your results.
